European Resistance Archive/European Resistance Archive (ERA)
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“So you think that if we get married, hand out the information they need, they’d let me go to Varese?
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Would you be happier if I’m tortured? You’re really joking”.
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I added, “I took this decision, why should I leave now?”
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To which he replied: “If you stay here, you’re not worthy of raising my children”.
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That was really it, I couldn’t take it anymore.
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In the past we had already argued over the role of the woman in the family.
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I couldn’t tolerate being considered as a nobody.
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I couldn’t stand the fact that a man would marry me only to have a maid and someone who would give birth to his children.
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That he would then be the one in charge.
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It was often a matter of discussion, even with my father,
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although he was a very democratic and open-minded person who understood certain issues. My boyfriend didn’t.
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I told him: “Giving birth to a child for a man is just a matter of seconds.
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I share my life with him for nine months. He lives in me,
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I’m the one who feeds him, who looks after him and gives him a chance to live.
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And you tell me that I have no decisional power, that I can’t say how he should grow up?”
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His reply was simply that it’s up to the man to take decisions at home. So I told him he could go home and be the man of the house there,
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while I’d go back to the mountains, because that was the choice I had made.
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It wasn’t an easy decision, after so many years of engagement.
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Staying with him was what I had envisioned for my future. Now I put an end to it.
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I also had to take into account that I might have no other chance to get married.
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